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The Sarah Syndrome

Have you ever prayed for something and God didn’t answer your prayer right away? Maybe it’s something that you really want to do or it’s something that you really desire, yet, you feel as if God doesn’t seem to be listening, let alone, answering your request. You continue to pray and pray, hoping to get some sign or signal that God is still there.




Now you’re at the point where you STOP praying and you begin to get advice from OTHER people. Anybody. Somebody. Anybody. You’re so desperate to do this THING that is tugging on you so strongly, that you just need that one person to give you confirmation to move forward. Now four things could happen here: (1) God can speak through someone to give you your answer if He so chooses and you are obedient to His word; (2) You listen to the WRONG person and end up making the WRONG decision; (3) You decide to take matters into your own hands and do what YOU want to do and not listen to ANYONE; (4) God TELLS you what to do, but you do the opposite. Have you found yourself doing any of these four things? Have you ever felt that if God is not answering your prayer in YOUR time, then you need to help HIM out?

Sarai and Abram (their names were later changed to Sarah and Abraham and I will be using these names for the purposes of this blog), decided that they were going to take matters into their own hands and help God do His job! In Genesis 16, the Bible tells us that Sarah could not give her husband Abraham any children. Now keep in mind that there is a reason why this is happening. The Bible doesn’t reveal why she could not have children but at this moment, it was not her time. Sometimes, God will not always reveal the WHY in our lives ALL the time! This is why it is important to learn to trust Him! Rather than Sarah trusting God, she decided that she was going to have a a child by any means necessary. Genesis 16:2 says, “So Sarah said to Abraham, ‘Now behold, the Lord has prevented me from bearing children. Please go in to my maid. Perhaps I shall obtain children through her. And Abraham listened to the voice of Sarah.” Now, this story is just wrong on so many levels. Not only is Sarah not trusting God, but she tells her husband to go sleep with another woman in order to get a child! And instead of Abraham trusting God, he follows after Sarah! Can you imagine where Sarah’s mindset was? She had succumbed to a point in her life where her desperation clouded her judgment. Who in their right mind, would suggest to their husband to go sleep with another women? Furthermore, wasn’t Abraham SUPPOSED to be the head of his household? Should he not have had better control of the situation? Did he challenge Sarah in this situation or did he simply agree with her? Sarah was disconnected from reality. She didn’t stay connected to God like she should have, so now she has allowed the enemy to take control of her mind. Be careful when the enemy has control of your mind and your thoughts! Be careful when making decisions out of desperation! As a matter of fact, what decisions or choices have YOU made because you let the enemy in? What are you STILL dealing with because of a wrong decision? What are you frustrated with because you moved too soon, moved too late or didn’t move at all? Who did you listen to that you wish you had not? Some of us can’t receive what God has for us because we are misplaced, misinformed and misunderstood. How did Sarah come to this conclusion? What OTHER women did she share her plight with that may have planted a negative seed in Sarah’s mind? Be careful who you talk to and be careful who you share your most intimate details with. SOME things need to stay between you and God!

And let’s not forget about poor Hagar. Her job was to cook and clean and to help Sarah, so imagine the conversation that took place here. What was going on in Hagar’s mind? Was she secretly attracted to Abraham or was she just being obedient to what Sarah asked her to do? Was she willingly open to the suggestion, or did she have reservations? What about Hagar’s friends? Were they encouraging her to sleep with Abraham or were they telling her to wait on God? Regardless of what the Bible does NOT tell us, it DOES say that Hagar slept with Abraham and as a result, she conceived and gave birth to a son named Ishmael. This did not sit well with Ms. Sarah. The latter part of Genesis 16:6 says, “So Sarah treated her harshly and she fled from her presence.” Let’s stop for a moment. I want to tell all the “Hagar’s” out there that God still loves you in spite of you, regardless of who "deals harshly with you." It doesn’t matter what you have done or who you did it with, God still loves you. We have to watch who and what we allow to get into our spirit. Imagine Hagar’s life. She was probably ridiculed, called names, her reputation may have been tainted and she was probably looked down upon. All because someone was desperate. Now, another woman’s problem became hers! Now she has a son to raise alone. Sometimes, life doesn't seem fair at times. Ladies, be careful who you allow to make a deposit in you! When dating, stop looking for good looks and outward appearances only, and look at his relationship with God. Does he pray? Does he read the bible? Does he HAVE a bible? Can he pray over you? Is he filled with the Holy Spirit? Can he be the head of your household? Take the time to ask these questions of someone that you may consider dating. And as an added point, YOU CANNOT DATE SOMEONE WHO IS MARRIED. PERIOD. MARRIAGE IS A COVENANT AND SHOULD BE TREATED AS SUCH. GOD DOES NOT, AND WILL NOT RECOGNIZE YOUR RELATIONSHIP WITH A MARRIED MAN IF THAT IS WHAT YOU CHOOSE! With that said, A MARRIED MAN CANNOT DATE A SINGLE WOMAN! The same rules apply! I don’t care WHAT He says to you, or HOW he says it, or WHAT he promises. It’s a bait and a trick! Don’t fall for it! Sometimes we as women can make desperate moves that cause us a lifetime of pain. Ask yourself is it worth it or in the words of Dr. R.A. Vernon, how much are YOU worth?

Ladies, I want you to recognize The Sarah Syndrome. This is defined as doing God’s job for Him when He doesn’t require it. SYMPTOMS include desperation, frustration, worry and a lack of peace. WARNING: The Sarah Syndrome does not just flare up in relationships. It can flare up on the job, in our finances, in our families and our children. TREATMENT: Read and study God’s Word, and pray at least once daily or as required, and be obedient to God and receive His blessing. Hagar received God’s blessing. Genesis 16:10 says, “Moreover, the angel of the Lord said to her, “I will greatly multiply your descendants so that they shall be too many to count.” Powerful! It doesn't matter what Hagar did, or who she did it with. God didn't see any of that. God still loved her, saw her as beautiful and blessed her! Don’t hang on to the guilt of your past and don’t let anyone make you feel less than what God has called you to be. You are still WORTHY to be used by God. Only what HE says about you matters! Believe it, embrace it and begin to walk in it!

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